One of many

Going to Mass is a pretty rich experience for me, both as a congregant and as a minister.  During the summer, I get to be the former pretty often.  But because I spend the school year in a leadership position in Mass, I always go through a kind of self-conscious transition period as a congregant.  After all, I'm taller than average, my voice is louder than average, and I'm guessing that because my career is in liturgy, I have a deeper than average knowledge of what's going on in Mass.  All great characteristics for leading liturgy (well, the tall thing's not that important, I guess), but not great for trying to be a part of a group - one among many, all doing the same thing.  At times I catch myself being louder than those around me, and I lower my voice.  If I were in middle school, the lesson would be to "use my voice just as it is, since God gave it to me."  But as I enter middle age, I far prefer the lesson - and value - of subsuming my individual traits to become one with the group.  Ritually, this is one of the unique values of Mass - and all communal prayer.  Mass is not a collection of individuals praying individually, it is one Body performing one corporate act.  And the individuals draw strength from the experience of each other.  It's great to be reminded of that for a couple of months, before taking up once again - also gratefully - the leadership role in which I'll spend the ten months of the school year.