I'm not tired, even though it's 12:55am and SVU ended an hour ago, usually triggering my pre-bed ritual and leading to sleep by now. So after drying some dishes and deciding not to wash the dirty ones, I am forced into a most unusual pastime - reading.
I have a magazine here whose topic in this issue is "the value of the priesthood and religious life." I start reading, and halfway through the first article I stop because I'm feeling more and more conflicted. The question arises inside me: how do I live a more and more explicit witness to my beliefs? How do I let those around me know with more and more confidence that I am someone to be trusted with matters of deep concern, even (dare I say) "spirituality"? In the past, the answer came: become a priest. But now that looks less and less likely, which is ok. But the desire to witness to that degree is still there. As usual, I think the answer lies in the little things. I'm trying to re-commit to a vegan diet during Lent (better for my health, the environment, not to mention those animals.... I think that's why I have more energy tonight!) ; even deciding to get back to this blog - maybe someone will read it and take something from it, just as I've taken so much from my friends' points of view (hey Joe - remember our Snake and Jake's conversation? I've been asking myself ever since then, "what does the Divine within me say?".)
Anyway, I think these things should be kept short, so there it is. Let's pray for each other. More on "prayer" later.
Peace.
